I think I am coming out of my funk. This week has been a toughie, but I am nearly soaring today.
I am fortunate that I am not a true binger. However, I do have some tendencies in that direction. I have to be careful around the sweets because those are the old eats that I miss most. I am learning new ways, primarily using fruit, to get my sweet fix without heading back to old habits.
The binge tendencies really showed themselves this week. Monday I realized during a stressful phone conversation that I was almost planning to go out for cake and ice cream. It was weird because it was more of an urge or desire that was beginning to cement itself in my consciousness. Just as my plans began to take shape with me eating a helping that equaled more like 3 real portions and leaving the rest for the kids (as if I was being selfless by doing it for the kids), I reminded myself that I do not eat that way anymore. The urge returned over the next couple days, that cake became chocolate in my mind as the urge and plan was further getting a foothold, but I resisted.
Today I ran out to the market for a few things and didn’t even think about that cake and ice cream. I didn’t even realize I had done it until I sat down to write this post. I am almost certain that had I visited the market on Monday or Tuesday, I would have given in. With what refined sugar does to my blood sugar levels these days, I would have been stoned all day.