Monday, October 18, 2010

Goals For the Week

I've decided to put down some goals for this week. If this helps, I will make it a habit.

Workout at least 20 minutes each day this week, working up to 30 minutes.

Do Yoga everyday! This is the calming, breathing sort of Yoga and will be aside my regular workout.

Drink only 2 mugs of coffee each day. Drink in the morning so as not to effect sleep.

Eat well and eat enough!

Allow myself a low cal daily treat. My daily diet is almost completely sugar free. I eat fruit, but other sugars, especially refined sugar, are almost completely done away with. I suspect this is leading to cravings. A piece of birthday cake at a party makes my head spin and makes me want more.

Make time for fun and relaxing.

So far this week, so good.

As I think about the 2 bad weeks that led to this day, I am thankful. I've learned a lot during my downer time.

Today I am feeling firsthand why it is so direly important that I take better care of myself. I only made it through 20 minutes of working out. After eating around 1000 calories each day for 3 days and not exercising for 2 weeks, believe me, I feel it. I am still considering this a step in the right direction and after a good night of sleep and eating regularly for a few days, I will feel stronger.

A lot of people online workout more than I do, but I cannot keep up what I was doing. I must find moderation. Since I began exercising, I have always hit it hard and burned it out leaving myself drenched and exhausted. When I have lapsed in my routine, the first few days actually make me feel better. I have to find the moderation to pursue a routine that allows me to feel improved by physical activity.

I spoke to my doctor about this. She has advised me to only workout for 30 minutes, 5 days a week or 40-45 for 4 days. She said that I should use a couple of days to do moderate exercise and couple for intense. I had been working out 5 days a week intensely. I am going back to morning exercise because getting it done in the morning allows me to feel freer for the rest of the day. Also, I am seeking fun in my routine. I love running, but each day I pushed myself to run farther and faster than the day before. I cannot keep competing with myself in this way. I just want to move and I want to enjoy doing it.

I am still learning. With each blunder, I learn what not to do. I am learning about myself. I feel physically badly right now and emotionally drained, but I am learning and I see nothing except positive things coming from this.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Turn-Around

I have not been taking care of myself. My calories have been fluctuating in an unhealthy way with days of overeating followed by a few days of under eating to try to compensate. Exercise has been hedged out by stressful activities that only make the cycle worse. I am dull, I am tired, while climbing stairs yesterday I thought my legs would not carry me.

I finally started doing some light Yoga a couple days ago. I had to do something! It has helped.

Today is my turn-around. I ate a healthier amount of calories and drank less coffee, and feel amazingly better. It is surprising how quickly the body responds. Tomorrow I plan to workout for at least 30 minutes.

It is time to shake off this funk.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Slippery Slope

I was reading Shane G. today and thinking that it was so amazing that he can balance this whole weight loss game with other responsibilities like school. College makes me want to eat my arm off. Seriously, it is so difficult for me to control the stresses of school and find the mind, energy, and motivation it takes to control what I eat and how I exercise.

I fear I am on a slippery slope.

Exercise has been nonexistent for me for a week and a half now. I tried to make up for this by cutting calories, but that has only worked about half the time. I am eating very healthy, whole foods, but too much of them. Right now, though it is evening, I am drinking coffee and gearing up for another late-night study/homework session.

I am in a sucky place. I just keep telling myself that I’ll do this until I get over the hurdle... I’ll cut back on calories in lieu of exercising until this week is over.... I’ll do better when this tough class ends.... I’ll lose this five pounds when I can (lately I’ve been losing and gaining the same five pounds while struggling to just maintain). The thing is that as these classes end, new ones begin.

I only have about 20 hours left. I don’t know if I can make it. I fear that I am only getting a BA so that they can stick me a cubicle, any way. I bet I could gain a tremendous amount of fat sitting in a cubicle all day