Monday, August 2, 2010

Still making progress, but so tired

Life has not been a bowl of cherries. Well, actually I’ve been eating so many fresh cherries that removing all those pits have stained my fingers and left me in dire need of fresh manicure, but Life has been full change and difficulties. I always feel like a whiny child when I write stuff like this. Adults are supposed to be accustomed to life being difficult and unfair and act accordingly with resilience by adapting. But, to be honest, my husband losing his job is the worst thing that has ever happened to us. This is the biggest blind change we’ve ever made. I look back and feel as though we were hiding in that small town where everyone knew our names and knew our history. Now, I am constantly dealing with city dwellers who seem to always be covering their a*ses because they’ve been screwed over so many times. Business and social interactions are just very different here. It is a different culture out here, folks.

During times like this I just want to run. I want to run until I burn. it. out. Thanks to the C25K I can now run. I could barely run 1 minute when I started, now I easily run at least 25 minutes, and that is if I don’t feel up to the full 30 minutes for some reason.

Some days I feel like I have mastered my bad habits. I can look back over several days and see that I have eaten plenty of veggies, drank lots of water, exercised, and taken excellent care of myself. Then something crashes and I find myself struggling. I find myself reminding myself of why I began this journey, why I even lost over 80 pounds to begin with, and I keep reminding myself with a pitiful weariness.

The good news is that a year after beginning all this “new lifestyle” stuff, greasy foods totally disgust me. The idea of eating cheese fries smothered in ranch dressing or a fastfood burger (foods I once thrived on) totally turns my stomach. Now if I could just get all disgusted by cheesecake or cookies, I’d have this thing all set.

1 comment:

Patrick said...

CHerries, I love them. They are in season and we've kept them coming in the house as fast as they can be eaten. Hope your adaptation to the city goes well no matter how long it takes to feel like home.